1、These words help me remember why embracing my essence is always the best thing to do. Perhaps this may resonate with where you are.
這些話讓我想起欣然接受自己的本質始終是上策的原因。或許這也會與你產生共鳴。
2、All too often, women are in a hurry. We want to hurry up and find THE GUY, get married, have babies, buy a house, etc. We don't enjoy the seasons of life we are in.
女人總是生活得匆匆忙忙。我們想要趕快找到自己的夢中情人、結婚成家、生孩子、買房子等等等等，我們從未享受過自己生活的四季變遷。
3、I am taking this time to reflect on my single days in writing a letter to my single self. I want to remind her of a few things.
此刻，我想給自己寫一封信，反思一下自己單身期間的生活狀況，有幾件事我想要提醒她。
4、So it's a Monday night, you have your wine, Twitter is open and you are live-tweeting The Bachelor thinking to yourself, "Where is my rose" Let me tell you, Neely, once you are married, these Bachelor nights will not look much different. Only instead of wine, you'll be eating dinner with your husband, still live-tweeting.
今天是周一，晚上，你喝著紅酒，開著推特，你一邊看著《億萬未婚夫》一邊用推特吐槽，心裡想著，「我的王子會在哪兒呢？」讓我告訴你吧，一旦你結婚了，那些看《億萬未婚夫》的夜晚也不會有什麼不同，不過你不是在喝紅酒，而是和你的丈夫一起吃著晚餐，手裡還是在刷推特線上吐槽。
5、Anyway, Single Neely, enjoy this time. Not because it's better than marriage — trust me, marriage is better. But enjoy it because you should be appreciating time with yourself and learning who you are. Go out with your friends more. Do all the happy hours, drink all the wines, and flirt with the cute waiter. Why Because WHY NOT!
單身的妮莉，無論如何，請享受這一刻。不是因為單身比婚後生活好——相信我，婚後生活更幸福。你要享受這段時間的原因是，你應該珍惜獨處的時間，並藉此機會更了解自己，多和朋友們聚聚，多做讓你開心的事情，多去喝喝紅酒，跟可愛的服務生調情，為什麼要這樣做？因為你為什麼不這樣做呢？
6、When that guy ghosts you after three great dates, it stings. You think, What did I do wrong Trust me — it's him. He has issues that he will feel the need to share with you three years later. Sigh. Men.
當一個男人跟你一起度過了三次絕妙的約會，卻甩了你，這確實很糟糕，你會想，我做錯了什麼？相信我——是他有問題，他心裡有一些缺陷，他覺得自己應該在三年之後再和你分享他的故事。哎，男人就是這樣！
7、When you and He Who Shall Not Be Named go back and forth, up and down, and hot and cold, just shake your head, nod and smile and know that "This too shall pass." You'll end it when you've REALLY had enough, and thank God you did.
當你和某某人在一起經歷了無數感情波折、感情顛簸、熱戰冷戰，你就搖搖頭，給自己一個微笑，告訴自己，「這些都會過去的。」當你覺得自己真的受夠了，你就能夠放手了，謝天謝地你真的做到了。
8、Remember your favorite episode of How I Met Your Mother, Remember what Stella says to Ted: "I know that you are tired of waiting, and you may have to wait a little while more, but she's on her way, Ted. And she's getting here as fast as she can." That quote is so true. Replay it over and over and over. Just sub in "she" for "he" and "Ted" for "Neely." You get it!
還記得《老爸老媽浪漫史》中你最喜歡的一集，記得斯泰拉對泰德說的話，「我知道你已經厭倦了等待，或許你不得不再多等一會兒，不過她已經在朝你走來了。泰德，她正在全速朝你奔過來。」這段話真是至理名言，你要一遍一遍的重溫這句話。只要把「她」換成「他」，把「泰德」換成「妮莉」，懂了吧！
9、Girl, you are single; one day you will look back, and even though you are beyond happily married, you will remember the boozy brunches, marathon shopping sessions, random road trips, and late nights spent on the phone with your best friend talking about nothing.
姑娘，現在你還單著，雖然你還沒有找到幸福的婚姻生活，不過當某天你回頭看時，你會懷念那些微醺的早中餐、馬拉松式的購物行動、隨心閒逛的公路旅行，還有那些和閨蜜閒聊至深夜然而並沒有什麼信息量的夜晚。
10、Now, your husband comes first. You think of his needs, his wants, his TV shows （mostly yours still）， the foods he wants to eat, and what you two will do together every weekend. It's wonderful and magical and you wouldn't trade it for the world. But don't be in such a hurry to let go of your single self too soon.
現在，你的丈夫才是第一位的。你要顧慮他的感受、他的需求、他想要吃的食物、你們每個周末要去做些什麼活動。這種生活美好而富有魅力，即便給你一個宇宙你也不願意捨棄它。可是，請不要著急著太過早地放棄你單身時的自我。
11、i have in my hands two boxes which god gave me to hold. he said, 」put all your sarrows in the black box,and all your joys in the gold.」 i heeded his words, and in the two boxes both my joys and sarrows i stored.
我手上拿著上帝給的兩個盒子。他說：「把你所有的悲傷放進黑色的盒子，所有的快樂放進金色的盒子。」我按照他的話做了，在兩個盒子裡存放了我的快樂和悲傷。
12、but though the gold became heavier each day, the black was as light as before. with curiosity, i opened the black: i wanted to find out why. and i saw, in the base of the box, a hole which my sorrows had fallen out by.
然而，雖然那個金色的盒子的重量每天都有所增加，但是黑色盒子卻輕如以前。出於好奇，我打開了黑色的盒子，我想找到原因。我看到，盒子的底部有一個洞，我的悲傷就是從那裡漏掉了。
13、We've all heard the quote, 'Be Kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.'
我們都聽過這句話：「要善良，因為你遇到的每個人都在經歷某種痛苦。」
14、My husband and son died within two years of each other. From my personal experience, I believe that if we aren't careful, grief can become a rather self-involved process in which we can become so focused on our own suffering that we miss the opportunity to connect with, and possibly bring comfort to, someone else who may be going through a similar experience.
我的丈夫和兒子兩年內相繼去世。從我的個人經驗來看，我相信我們一不小心就會被傷痛左右，以自己為中心，我們會變得過於關注自己的痛苦，而錯失和正經歷相似痛苦的人接觸的機會，也無法給予他們安慰。
15、Six months after my husband died, I was sinking in the quicksand of grief. I could not pull myself out of the misery.
那時，我真的認為自己的生活要比身邊任何人都不容易。生活給我上了完美的一課，通過這次不幸我認清了一個事實：顧影自憐使我看不到別人，只看到自己。
16、In that moment, I actually believed that my life was more difficult than anyone else around me. Life handed me a perfectly wrapped lesson that opened my eyes to the fact that through my suffering I had allowed myself to become blinded by my self-pity.
我在健康出現問題時吸取了這個教訓。我的外科手術引發了併發症，最終住院4天。那段時期我極其痛苦，身體的疼痛和精神上的傷痛把我夾在中間，我的生活一團糟。
17、The lesson presented itself in a health crisis. I had complications from a surgical procedure and ended up being hospitalized for four days. I was in an extreme amount of pain during this time. Between the physical pain and the emotional pain of grief, I was an absolute mess.
我也應該告訴你我是一名註冊護士。對護士而言，很難接受自己成為病人並進行藥物治療這種事。
18、Our character, basically, is a composite of our habits. 「Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny,」 the maxim goes.
從根本上來講，我們的個性是塑成習慣的成分之一。有一句箴言講到：「播下一個想法，收穫一個行動；播下一個行動，收穫一個習慣；播下一個習慣，收穫一個性格；播下一個性格，收穫一份命運。」
19、Habits are powerful factors in our lives. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character and produce our effectiveness or ineffectiveness.
習慣是我們生活中有力的因素。因為習慣的持續性，人們常常不能意識到它們。於是，每一天，我們的習慣總在彰顯著我們的性格，我們是否有效率也源自習慣。
20、As Horace Mann, the great educator, once said, 「Habits are like a cable. We weave a strand of it everyday and soon it cannot be broken.」 I personally do not agree with the last part of his expression. I know habits can be learned and unlearned. But I also know it isn't a quick fix. It involves a process and a tremendous commitment.
正如偉大的教育學家霍瑞斯·曼曾經說的那樣：「習慣猶如一根纜繩。我們每日為其編織一股，不久它便不容易斷裂。」我個人不認同他最後一段的表達。我知曉有些習慣是後天習得的，而有些則是不學就有的。可我也明白習慣無法速成，它是一段涉及鄭重承諾的過程。
21、Those of us who watched the lunar voyage of Apollo 11 were transfixed as we saw the first men walk on the moon and return to earth. But to get there, those astronauts literally had to break out of the tremendous gravity pull of the earth. More energy was spent in the first few minutes of lift, in the first few miles of travel, than was used over the next several days to travel half a million miles.
我們之中見證過阿波羅11號登月的人，當看到人類在月球上跨出第一步並返回地球時，瞠目結舌。但為了抵達月球，毫不誇張地說，這些太空人得掙脫地球對其極大的地心引力。在升起的頭幾分鐘、太空旅程的頭幾英里中，太空人耗費的能量要遠大於之後幾天五十萬英里旅程中的能量。
22、Habits, too, have tremendous gravity pull more than most people realize or would admit. Breaking deeply imbedded habitual tendencies such as procrastination, impatience, criticalness, or selfishness that violate basic principles of human effectiveness involves more than a little willpower and a few minor changes in our lives. 「Lift off」 takes a tremendous effort, but once we break out of the gravity pull, our freedom takes on a whole new dimension.
習慣也具有極強的牽引力，比大多數人意識到或承認的還來得多。對於一些根深蒂固的習慣，像是拖延症、不耐煩、挑剔或自私，它們違反了人類效率的基本原則。而要戒掉這些陋習，僅靠那一丁點的意志力和生活中極小的改變，是無濟於事的。「起飛時分」要付出巨大努力，而一旦我們掙脫地心引力，我們享有的自由便會展現出一個全新的維度。
23、Like any natural force, gravity pull can work with us or against us. The gravity pull of some of our habits may currently be keeping us from going where we want to go. But it is also gravity pull that keeps our world together, that keeps the planets in their orbits and our universe in order. It is a powerful force, and if we use it effectively, we can use the gravity pull of habit to create the cohesiveness and order necessary to establish effectiveness in our lives.
與其他自然力一樣，地心引力對我們而言，是助力，亦可是對抗力。我們一些習慣所具有的引力也許正在妨礙我們抵達目的地。然而同時也是地心引力將世界凝聚，使各大行星在軌道上運轉，讓我們的宇宙井然有序。引力是很強大的，我們倘若能有效運用它，便可用習慣的引力來創建凝聚力和秩序，使我們的生活有效率。
24、I should also tell you that I am a Registered Nurse. As a nurse, it is hard to be on the receiving end of medicine as the patient.
住院的前三個晚上同一位護士護理我。她挺年輕，可能快30歲。頭兩個晚上幾乎不怎麼跟我說話，除了定期來給我送藥。很明顯她不知道我精神上有多痛苦。問問你的病人感覺怎麼樣能有多難？我認定她是不合格的護士，缺乏同情心，而且我依然沉浸在自己精神和身體的痛苦中。
25、The first three nights that I was in the hospital, the same nurse took care of me. She was young, maybe in her mid to late 20s, and she hardly interacted with me at all the first two nights, other than to give my medications as scheduled. She obviously had no idea how much emotional pain I was in. How hard is it to ask your patient how she's feeling I wrote her off as a bad nurse who had little empathy, and remained absorbed in my own emotional and physical pain.
第三天晚上這個年輕的護士開始打開了話匣子，她問我感覺怎樣（終於問了！）。我告訴她我正掙扎於沮喪和痛苦之中，因為我丈夫死於一場飛機事故。
26、The third night the young nurse was a little more talkative. She asked me how I was feeling （finally!）。 I told her that I was struggling with depression and grief because my husband had died in an airplane accident.
她看著我，跟我說她丈夫就在兩個月前剛剛去世。我有點不知所措，說不出話，我被驚到了！
27、She looked at me and told me that her husband had died too, just two months earlier. I was stunned. Speechless. Shocked.
Never, in any of the possibilities that my mind entertained of why this nurse was so stand-offish with me, did I even consider that she might be in the same pain I was. Not only was she grieving as I was, but she was having to take care of me, instead of caring for herself and her family.
我從未想過她對我如此冷淡會是因為這個，我甚至都沒想過她可能會有同樣的痛苦。她不僅和我一樣悲痛，而且還要照顧我，而不是照顧她自己和家人。
我們繼續討論分享我們丈夫和孩子的事，我覺著我們那天晚上都給了彼此一點幫助。
28、We went on to talk and share our stories about our late husbands and children. I like to think that we helped each other a bit that night.
我們之間的共同點比我想的要多，我們都成了單親媽媽，孩子都還小，而且都是護士。但也就這些了，她丈夫沒有保險，家裡經濟來源很少，她就靠著一點工資養活家裡的男孩兒們。我覺著自愧不如，我意識到自己該有多知足。坦白說，這次經歷改變了我對生活的看法。()
29、We had much more in common than I would have believed. We were both widowed single moms with young children, and nurses. But, that was where the similarities ended. Her husband had no insurance policy. She had very little family support. She was working paycheck to paycheck to support her boys. I was humbled. I realized how much I had to be grateful for. And, frankly, I never saw life the same way after this experience.
這次的經歷改變了我的生活，之前我總是對自己的同情心引以為傲，但現在我意識到了我根本沒理解同情的真諦。
30、This experience was a life-changing event for me. I had always prided myself on being an empathetic person, but I realize now that I had not really understood what being empathetic meant.
想要具備真正的同情心，你的眼光必須超越你自己的傷痛，以局外人的角度看待自己的痛苦。從那之後，我看待別人的眼光也不一樣了。